Morning commute tip #2

If you’re generally a spaz, stay away from people with coffee cups on a moving train. Case in point:

This morning, my buddy was walking behind me as we trudged through several crowded cars looking for a seat. As we were passing through a particularly crowded vestibule, overstuffed with high school students on their way to Norwalk, the train lurched and wobbled as it so often does. I instinctively reached behind me to grab the pole I’d just passed and steady myself. True to form, my instincts were wrong. What happened next will forever live in infamy.

I essentially punched my pal’s coffee cup out of his hand. It dropped like a bomb. The spray was unavoidable. Nobody was safe. I think I heard one of the high school girls say that it got her in the eye. It was all down the front of my friend’s shirt; my right shoe and pant leg got a good splash; I think several other people were hit as well. It was hard to get a good read on the situation, especially as the coffee started to spread across the floor like Janet Leigh’s blood going down the bath drain. I tried to figure out how to clean it, but I had no paper products. I had no way to redeem myself. I waded through the spill and my ocean of regret to a rear car with plenty of seats. And here I sit, tapping on my little phone in shame.


2 responses to “Morning commute tip #2

  1. True story? So let me get this straight. It’s either coffee on your shirt in the vestibule in the morning……or red wine on your shirt in the bar car at night. You have to stop taking the train, Dude. Although, I look forward to the days when I’m back down south and able to take that ride with you. Don’t worry…..I’ll stock up on extra shirts at Joseph A. Bank. Miss you, buddy.

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